(Excerpt from a play by the Munich comedian Karl Valentin and his partner Liesl Karlstadt. The stage shows a simple room in the evening light.)

The mother (Liesl Karlstadt)

That's fine, you got a nice tree, a really nice Christmas tree.

The father (Karl Valentin)

Well, a bit childish.

Mother

But it is for the children.

Father

Yeah, I went to two different tree factories and they gave me that one.

Mother

Where is the holder? Have you lost it? I told you to get a tree on a holder.

Father

Yeah, there is none.

Mother

I see that.

Father

How can you see it if there is none?

Mother

I even wrote it on a piece of paper: a tree on a holder!

Father

They had lots of trees on holders, this one had none.

Mother

Is that why you picked it?

Father

Just look at it, so much more natural,  they don't grow on holders in the forest.

Mother

It won't even stand on the table!

Father

Then lay it - we've had it standing the last fifteen years, why not lay it for a change? 

Mother

What about the decorations?  I told the children that there would be gifts once you're back.  And here you come, with a tree and no holder!  You might just as well have brought a holder with no tree!

Father

Kids would not like that.

Mother

I can do nothing of it!

Father

Gimme, I'll hold it.

Mother

Come on, don't tell me you'll stand there holding that tree till Epiphany!

Father

Why not, I have nothing else to do anyway, I've got no job.

Mother

But it's another two weeks, you can't hold the tree day and night all that time! Just imagine next time you have to go to the bathroom!

Father

I'll bring it along.

They manage to set the tree somehow and decorate it.  A chimney sweeper comes in and ends up sitting in the cream pie.

Chimney-sweeper

My goodness! And this is happening on St. John's day!

Father

What about St. John?

Chimney-sweep

Ain't today June 24?

Father

Holy smoke!  The calendar!   I got it all wrong!

Mother

I can't believe it!

Father

See, Ma, that tree, I knew it had not cost me much!